*!%$ Query Letters! Show Me Your Writing Résumé.

Query letters are so 2008.  I propose that everyone adopt a writing résumé instead to show your chops, and what better way to get some practice than pretend you're a reality show celebrity with the marketing kapow (is this a word?) to write a completely engrossing book.  To this end, I think I'd wanna be Snooki and below is totally how my writing resume would look.  Random House would sooo completely go nuts over me.  I just know it.

I mean...it has pickles on it. How could you not see the brilliance of pickles?

Disclaimer:  No Snooki's were harmed in this social experiment.