Okay...first off, I did get my money's worth at the matinee. I know everyone that reads these words is thinking it is the best movie of your entire life, how will you ever live without another movie, the fact that you cried etc. for hours on end and yadda yadda yadda. I respect that and am not gonna even look at that. I just wanted to say that I didn't like it as much as everyone else but I have very solid reasons as to why.
Okay...Just to be clear...I haven't read anything past Azkaban. I decided that it was dumb to do so when the movies were being made and I'd just watch the movies and read other books. So this is only movies I'm talking about here:
1) Bellatrix Lestrange. I've been following this character some eight or nine years. Great villain. "I killed Sirius Black!" etc. prancing around like a mad-woman, played by a great actress Helena Bonham Carter. I came to the movie thinking...this will be great. I get to see how this villain gets the kabosh. Okay the fight with her lasted maybe five seconds and the person that killed her was momma Weasley who had less lines than Darth Maul had in Phantom Menace. REALLY? So dumb. She even stole a line from "Aliens"... /facepalm. This is not how Bellatrix should have died.
2) J.K. Rowling's World. I have never seen a world so full of magic. Let me repeat that. I HAVE NEVER SEEN A WORLD SO FULL OF MAGIC ANYWHERE. Literally, anything is possible. We got resurrection, teleportation, giants, dragons...you name it. You could bust out anything and it would be believable. So why in the hell was the battle of Hogwarts so boring? I saw the sparkle effect on the wands and I guess that all you have to do when a wizard throws the lightning red death beam from the end of the wand is to raise your own wand to create this shiny plasma sphere for five minutes where no one gets hurt and everybody can sigh and think...how pretty. Additionally, the walking golems that Professor Minerva McGonagall summoned got completely owned by the giants. Did they kill anyone? When the death eater wizards attacked Hogwarts there should have been massive traps and all sorts of creative zappos, blips, and massive death everywhere. I saw nothing but the wand lightning things and a person frozen in the air and then tossed back out the window. How stupid.
3) Voldemort. He's supposed to be this all-powerful bad ass wizard. Yet, he can't figure out his own wand? Really? He thinks he figures it out but gets it all wrong. I honestly thought perhaps he was the wizard with downs. Then he lets Neville completely monologue. Why would you do that? If I was an evil badass wizard, as soon as Neville started giving his speech and rallying the kids out front of the ruined castle, I would have zapped him dead as a doornail. But nope. That didn't happen. Let's let the young man monologue and get everyone all rallied up with gusto!
4) The Goblin Banker. He wanted the magic sword of Gryffindor even knowing that it teleports around to give itself to a person that is in need of its power. Yet, he's supposed to be a curator of treasures. This is a bad bad investment and doesn't make sense. Also, he's too short to wield the sword. It would be like me wanting a trebuchet for my one-bedroom apartment.
Anyway...don't egg me please. I got my matinee's money's worth and I know the movie is like 97% on Rotten Tomatoes so essentially it's considered a masterpiece. I just don't get it.
I don't. And that's my two cents.
SPOILER ALERT:
Okay...Just to be clear...I haven't read anything past Azkaban. I decided that it was dumb to do so when the movies were being made and I'd just watch the movies and read other books. So this is only movies I'm talking about here:
1) Bellatrix Lestrange. I've been following this character some eight or nine years. Great villain. "I killed Sirius Black!" etc. prancing around like a mad-woman, played by a great actress Helena Bonham Carter. I came to the movie thinking...this will be great. I get to see how this villain gets the kabosh. Okay the fight with her lasted maybe five seconds and the person that killed her was momma Weasley who had less lines than Darth Maul had in Phantom Menace. REALLY? So dumb. She even stole a line from "Aliens"... /facepalm. This is not how Bellatrix should have died.
2) J.K. Rowling's World. I have never seen a world so full of magic. Let me repeat that. I HAVE NEVER SEEN A WORLD SO FULL OF MAGIC ANYWHERE. Literally, anything is possible. We got resurrection, teleportation, giants, dragons...you name it. You could bust out anything and it would be believable. So why in the hell was the battle of Hogwarts so boring? I saw the sparkle effect on the wands and I guess that all you have to do when a wizard throws the lightning red death beam from the end of the wand is to raise your own wand to create this shiny plasma sphere for five minutes where no one gets hurt and everybody can sigh and think...how pretty. Additionally, the walking golems that Professor Minerva McGonagall summoned got completely owned by the giants. Did they kill anyone? When the death eater wizards attacked Hogwarts there should have been massive traps and all sorts of creative zappos, blips, and massive death everywhere. I saw nothing but the wand lightning things and a person frozen in the air and then tossed back out the window. How stupid.
3) Voldemort. He's supposed to be this all-powerful bad ass wizard. Yet, he can't figure out his own wand? Really? He thinks he figures it out but gets it all wrong. I honestly thought perhaps he was the wizard with downs. Then he lets Neville completely monologue. Why would you do that? If I was an evil badass wizard, as soon as Neville started giving his speech and rallying the kids out front of the ruined castle, I would have zapped him dead as a doornail. But nope. That didn't happen. Let's let the young man monologue and get everyone all rallied up with gusto!
4) The Goblin Banker. He wanted the magic sword of Gryffindor even knowing that it teleports around to give itself to a person that is in need of its power. Yet, he's supposed to be a curator of treasures. This is a bad bad investment and doesn't make sense. Also, he's too short to wield the sword. It would be like me wanting a trebuchet for my one-bedroom apartment.
Anyway...don't egg me please. I got my matinee's money's worth and I know the movie is like 97% on Rotten Tomatoes so essentially it's considered a masterpiece. I just don't get it.
I don't. And that's my two cents.